The Tragedy of Foster Care

I teach classes intended to prepare individuals to be foster parents. It is something that you definitely learn by doing.. but I do what I can to open their eyes and prepare their hearts. We talk about everything they should strive to be as foster parents. We talk about different situations they might encounter. We talk about who to call and how to handle the unexpected situations you can find yourself in while on the foster care journey. It is a ten week class, and it is always a precious time for me to learn the hearts of people who have a true desire to serve God by serving others. I haven't experienced a thousand difficult days by any means, but a lot of the difficult days I have endured were as a foster mother.

It is a difficult calling to love someone who you are almost positive will leave you with limited notice, and an uncertain future. It is something that God did through me, because it was a time in my life (almost six years!) that I could not have done on my own. It was a time I made a lot of selfish mistakes, and learned a lot of hard lessons. It was a time that I thank God for. It is a time that molded me.

I write all of that to say.. foster care is terrible. It is a mother losing her child and a father hitting rock bottom. It is a child in a constant state of missing people they truly love. Foster care is a tragedy. Truly, a tragedy.

And lately I've seen and heard a lot of people anticipating the arrival of foster children ( I keep in regular contact with many of the couples I teach in foster parent training). And I understand their eagerness, they have endured the ten week class, they have gone through detailed home inspections, their backgrounds have been checked, their pets have been proven vaccinated, they've dealt with the doubts of loved ones. They've followed their hearts. And now they are ready to make a difference. I have been there. I know how they feel. They are waiting on those children.. but I wish they wouldn't.

I wish they would realize that a child coming into their home is a terrible loss. A life changing time for a family. The worst day in the life of the child they eagerly anticipate. I wish I could tell them to be thankful for everyday their foster care agency doesn't have to call them, because unfortunately there will be too many days that they do.

If it is on your heart, I always encourage you to become a foster parent. The best thing that can happen on that child's worst day is they be welcomed into a stable, loving home. I thank God regularly for the times I have seen scared children immediately loved by strangers. I praise God for compassionate hearts.