Tired.. and new understanding.

I think it is okay to tell you, I am tired. Like deep down, eyes burning, hurts on the inside tired. It is a good tired. A tired that reminds me about my two sweet babies, my very involved teenager, my full time job, my special marriage, and the rest of my family obligations. But nonetheless, I am tired.

There are so many things that having Cates has taught me. Important life lessons. Like.. go ahead and make alot of bottles at once.. at 2am you will be glad you did. The great value in choosing my battles. Do I really care if Tiffany left her shoes in the middle of the floor.. I mean let's be honest.. they are probably right next to mine.

But I think one of the most valuable things I have learned is.. invest in people who love you.

We could all get lost in the people who dont show up when we think they should. We could all feel sorry for ourselves when someone doesnt agree with us, or says something negative in our direction. I could and have in the past totally consumed myself with making everyone happy. And I can honestly tell you the first night I held Cates in my arms, after our friends and family had gone, I felt a peace I never felt before. Thirty five people visited us in the hospital. How could my feelings be hurt over the ones who did not? Seventy five people shared their love for our sweet family at Andrew's adoption party.. really why would I waste one second thinking about the people who missed out. I dont want to be someone who sees negative and misses the beauty of so much positivity that is around me. My time matters more now since having Cates and adopting Andrew, I can no longer waste my emotions on feeling sad about things that are so small in comparison to the absolutely beautiful, wonderful things that are all around me. I am thankful daily for the people who have invested in me and my family, I only hope I can he a small part of the blessing so many are to me.

Peace. What a wonderful feeling.