Be the change you want to see in the world....

I have always tried to please everyone. Have I been successful? No. But, I have tried. Approval from others has always been important to me, too important. I agree to things that I dread, and I obligate myself to activities that overextend me. Why? Because I want to make you happy.

Lately, I have really failed at making the world happy. And you know what? It has been a really good thing. I have learned so much.

First I learned, some people will never be happy. There are some people that you will work to make happy day in and day out, and it will never happen. You will do everything you know to encourage or inspire them, and there will be nothing. You will always come up a little short, their situation will always be in their eyes desperate, and you won’t really be able to make a difference for them.

I also learned that there are some people who will be happy with you and for you as long as they are getting their way. I know I often fall into this category sometimes. And I need to work on it. It’s easy to be happy when you are getting what you want. The real test is being happy for others when you wish the situation was different, or finding happiness in others happiness even when you are not being benefitted by the circumstances. These are the people that I am learning to deal with. And learning to accept myself, that sometimes, even when others aren’t happy, you have to do what you believe to be best.

And then there are the people who will always encourage you. People that you seem to please without a lot of effort. People that you know are on your side. People that instead of always working to feel like you are pleasing, you just have general love and acceptance from. I need to work to be this for more people.

It is tiring always feeling like you are working to make others happy. It is hard to feel like you are trying to the lone encourager in a sea of discouragement. I know. I’ve been there. So why don’t we all smile at each other more? Let’s write each other more notes to build one another up. Let’s laugh more, and berate less. Instead of waiting to feel encouraged BY someone, go out and encourage someone. And realize, like I have.. every decision won’t be a popular one. Everything you do won’t be appreciated or valued, but a lot of it will. A lot of your efforts will bear fruit. And a lot of times, in really surprising places.