Paid Parenting. Wait, what??

Only twice do I remember anyone directly saying anything to me about receiving money to foster parent. Once a lady asked me if we received a thousand dollars a month for a child, I laughed out loud. And then respectfully told her.. No. We don't. The next time was a teenage boy who lived with us. He told us someone had told him we just kept him for money. I told him we spent more on his birthday weekend taking him to his first Alabama game, and spending time in Birmingham than we would receive for two months of his being with us. I think he felt better after. And then once, I overheard it. And the people talking were just so ignorant that I chose to forgive them.

And yes, it hurt my feelings, but more than that, it didn't make sense to me.

Who takes strangers into their home, cleans up after them, cooks for them, transports them, loves them, cares for them during sickness, mends hurt hearts, shares vacations, and holidays, works on speech impediments or self confidence issues with them, changes dirty diapers, attends school functions.. just totally parenting and loving someone.. for less than .50 cents an hour. No one does that. It wouldn't make sense.

But I think what really gets me is.. when two parents are divorced.. whoever has primary custody.. so let's just say the mom. She receives child support. She is often remarried and a part of a two income family, but on top of that each month, the children's father will send her child support. And I think we all agree that is the right thing. We don't believe that the mother is parenting her children in order to receive the monthly child support check, do we?

It's the same concept. The state has custody of the child, so they send us child support. It makes sense. I assure you that Tim is careful to make sure that we always use the money for the children. We do allowance, vacations, big Christmases, everything a mother receiving child support would do for her children. But we do it not because they are our own children, but because they need a family to be a part of. And we have a great desire to be that family.

It all goes back to... You can't understand what you don't love. If people don't love children in need enough to bring them into their home.. To go thru everything it means to have someone as a part of their family.. that technically isn't.. then some people have to come up with ulterior motives for people who do.

Like in everything in life, there are foster parents who have given the ministry, at times, a bad name. But that's life. And that can be found in any group of people. I don't see how anyone could be a foster parent, the right kind, and have any money leftover at all. And, I needed you to know that.