You're doing a really good job, Mom.

I was recently talking to one of my favorite friends about a blog I had read online. It was addressing wives before they were mothers. And it rang really true to me. It reminded me of my first love and commitment to my husband. And it encouraged me to refocus and think more intentionally about my marriage. So, I reposted it. I asked my friend if she had read it.. and she said I started.. but I stopped.

I asked her why. What she had to say hit my heart, because I could tell that it was something that she felt deeply. She said.."I cannot be given a guilt trip about another thing. I cannot have another thing I should be doing better put on my list. I am overwhelmed."

And while the article made me feel differently, I totally understood what she meant. Because I am overwhelmed too sometimes. Thankfully, being able to stay home this year, my list is miles shorter. My burden lighter. But still I am overwhelmed sometimes with that sense of inadequacy.

I raise my voice sometimes when my children are out of hand, but I know if I were doing it the right way, I would "redirect" them. I cook a frozen pizza for dinner at least twice a month, and I don't even bother to open a can of veggies to go along with it. I know if I were on the correct pinterest perfected cleaning routine, I would not have these dust balls in the corners of my house. I rarely get a date night to focus on my husband, and when I do I usually call or text whoever has our babies about twenty times. I let opportunities to do good walk right past me sometimes, and rarely do I appropriately express the gratitude I feel when someone does good for me. I fall short in every area.. everyday.

And I guess maybe I am so aware of my shortcomings because of those blogs reminding me that my children are only going to be little for a short time, and I best not miss a second or live with a lifetime of regret. Or the ones that tell me if I don't shape up and be the perfect housewife, mother, chef, maid, and wife I will have let down my husband and permanently damaged my children. Too many of us are trying to meet the standard we feel set by others. You know, our facebook friends who only post the smiling, clean, happy pictures of their children. And then we wonder why our children are usually messy and loud.. and would never take time to smile for a picture. Inadequate. We see the meals posted by super mom of her always healthy, colorful meals. We forget that her children like ours ate poptarts for breakfast. And for a minute, we feel.. Inadequate. We see the pictures of roses given to perfect wives by their perfect husbands. What we don't see is the horrible fight they had last night. And we feel.. Inadequate.

The list could go on and on. And I guess I say all of the above to say.. You are doing a good job, Mom. Your children don't care about the perfect meal, or a spotless house. They have what they need, and that is your love and attention. Your husband understands that when you go to bed, you're tired. And he is proud of you for handling all that you do, even if it is not always gracefully. Stop feeling inadequate. Stop feeling overwhelmed. Stop trying to meet an unreachable standard. You are special, and beautiful, and you are loved. And you're doing a really good job, Mom.