Dear Grandmama and Granddaddy,

We are all who we are because of a series of people and events that we encountered. Some that make us joyful and kind, others that make us distant and damaged. Some of these people and events have huge impacts on who we are as people, and others are not as significant and we think of rarely.. if ever.

I've thought some about the times and the lives that have developed me. And when I think of big impacts, my grandparents come to mind. So I decided that I would like to blog to them a letter, a letter that they can read, and I can keep forever.


Dear Grandmom and Granddad,

I have to start with I love you, because love this the first thing that comes to mind when I think of each of you.

I have so many wonderful memories of you growing up. I remember coming to the store after school, and granddaddy riding us around on his gadget that would move boxes. I remember grandmom taking us to buy a glass bottle coke from in front of the store and taking it to the booth in the back. I always felt so special that I got to go to the back parts of your store where other people didn't get to go. I loved running my hands deep in the barrels of seeds (even though we were told not to!). I still feel a joy when I pass that store. I loved the years it was "ours". :)

I remember grandmom playing house with us for the longest time. Playing whatever role we asked of her, and granddaddy taking us to the tire swing out by the barn. I remember how I slept better in that twin bed at your house than anywhere else in the world. I still do when I am lucky enough to get to nap there :)

I remember putting my head on grandmama's head at church until she thought I was too old and would pop her shoulder up and down when I put it there. I remember reading the family tree in her bible over and over during church. I have so many memories of you at church because you were always there. Leading a life of devotion by example.

I remember big Christmases. Full of tradition. And food. And gifts. I love how you taught the true value of tradition. I love listening to grandmama read stories on Christmas eve, and how granddaddy always selects someone to pray.

I love that grandmom always says she's on call 24/7 and she means it. I have tested it. Thank you for caring about us even more than you care about yourself. You are a shining light and every example of selflessness anyone could need.

I remember the Ranch. I loved watching Granddaddy laugh out on the porch. And stomp his feet to the bluegrass. I love that y'all let me stay in the room with you so that Bert and I could have some space on those weeks in the mountains :)

I love that Granddaddy is calm and grandmamma is passionate. I love that you both approach situations with your hearts in the right place. I love telling people that I am your granddaughter. I feel really proud to be yours. I love that even now as an adult you are one of the first calls I make in great happiness or real sadness. I love that you always have the right words, and that I know when I ask either of you for prayers you talk to God fervently on my behalf.

I am thankful for the way you opened your heart and your home to our desire to foster sweet children. I love that Andrew is your first great grandchild and how even before he was "officially" ours you treated him no differently. I know that adoption, especially transracial, wasn't as common for most of your lives, but you never let that effect how you treated/loved our family. I love that Cates is grandmom's namesake. I pray that she has the strength and courage that you have. I am thankful that Tim is so much like you, Granddaddy. I love to see my favorite qualities of you represented in my little family.

You are both bright spots in my life. You are both examples that I aim to follow. You are both precious to me.

Thank you for always loving me, and listening to me, and forgiving me. Thank you for being everything anyone could ever need from grandparents. And thank you for being two sets of grandparents in one, since I wasn't able to know my daddy's mom and papa died when I was so young. Thank you for being my heart and two of my best friends. You mean the world to me.

Love, Lindsey

..for the days when no one calls.

2015 has had it's fair share of difficult days so far. Certainly, there have been good days all along, but as a whole the last couple of months have been a struggle. I have seen people I love sick and in pain, people close to me have experienced true tragedy, I've heard mean words said, and people important to me have died.

It has been hard to watch people I love hurt. It has taken more from me, and been harder on me than I would have thought. And while I guess most of the difficulties I have dealt with have been more indirect than direct pains, they have felt substantial.

And in general, I think of myself as an encourager. I really think it is my gift from God, my strong suit. I am never happier than when I am in service to others. I really do look for opportunities to build people up. And I do not say that bragging, because I assure you there are more things I don't do that I should, than things that actually get done. But I say all that to say, I don't usually need a lot of building up. I am more of a doer than a "needer".

But lately, I have needed encouragement. Not a huge showing, not anything out of anyone's way.. just a call or a card or a whisper of love. And a lot of days, I got just what I needed.. and some days, no one called. And that's okay. Because most people are just surviving their own lives and situations. Most people probably needed a call themselves. But for some reason, on those days without encouragement, it really hurt my feelings.

But now that I have had a little bit of time, and a little bit of distance, I can see that what I was looking for in others was right in front of me. What I was looking for in others, God wanted me to take from Him. Comfort. Strength. Peace. Understanding.

And I am thankful for the reminder that God can meet all my needs, if I will let Him. I am thankful for the opportunity to lean more strongly on Him on the days when no one calls.

And I am really thankful for the people who do call. They encourage me to be more involved in the lives of others. They encourage me to work to meet the needs of others. They make me better and stronger. And more prepared for the days when no one calls.