Ever since 9-11.. it is safe to say I have not had the most celebrated day for my birthday. Rightfully, my birthday is spent mourning the loss of thousands of Americans who were killed due an act of hate. So I guess ever since my 17th birthday.. the day of the terrorist attacks.. I have not been really excited about my birthday. This year the lack of excitement hit me even harder than most. I just could not get pumped about my birthday. My friend Lauren was going to take me out for dinner and pedicures.. Tim was taking me out of town for the weekend.. my mom had planned my bday sunday lunch.. and while I was looking forward to all of those things very much.. I just didn't feel very "birthdayish". They called me from the office Friday morning to tell me Tim had sent me flowers for my birthday, and they would bring them down after reading. I was not surprised, but thankful. Tim is such a thoughtful man. Right after I hung up with the office my phone rang again. It was my mom and I picked up the phone. She told me Tim had been taking to the hospital by the paramedics.. and I needed to be there asap. It was the most awful feeling I have ever had in my entire life. Like my heart just hit the floor. I pretty much ran out of school crying (I often thank the Lord for my understanding, christian boss). When I got to the hospital Tim was alert, and concerned. After many tests.. they admitted him for the night. Spending the night in the hospital is awful. You don't sleep, it's uncomfortable.. we waited Saturday morning to see his doctor only to find out she would not be coming to see him. We were discharged with no test results etc.. by the on call doctor. I was so worried. He rested Saturday night and Sunday (and at some point started running a temp!) And Monday morning I took him to my doctor.. who I have the greatest confidence in.. and believe has with the Lord's help saved my daddy a time or two. Dr. Patel is sending us for more tests today.. I feel sure Tim is fine.. and I am glad that Dr. Patel is checking him out to be safe. Between the babies being sick, my issue a couple of weeks ago, and Tim's problems now my feelings are spread pretty thin. I always desire your prayers :)
Next year, let's just skip my birthday please! I think it is cursed!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
One Month.
I haven't written in a long time. School started, and things got crazy. Mornings start before six.. and we usually finish putting babies to bed around 8. So.. at the end of the day I am so tired.. makes it harder to write.. although if you know me you know that I always have plenty to say.
I have a really great class this year. The Lord really blessed me with them. They are sweet and I often think about how much potential they have. I always appreciate your prayers for them.
One month. That is the projected time left that the babies will be with us. Of course, that could change. These estimates are always based on circumstances, and as we all know those can change. It pretty much breaks my heart. I am not sure you can understand how absolutely attached to babies you can become in three months.. but it is unbelievable. I guess when you wake up in the middle of the night with them, and take care of them when they are sick.. and watch them as they learn new words.. and how to pray.. When you take them to their first ballgame.. or their first trip to the beach.. when you wipe tears.. and hold hands.. change diapers.. celebrate birthdays.. when you are here day in and day out.. I guess how could you help but feel like they are yours. And so the thought of them leaving breaks my heart, I told Tim I think I would feel better if I could just go somewhere and cry really hard.. cry until I had just let it all out. Then maybe I would be okay. Then maybe I could have some peace. We decided to foster with the hopes of making a difference.. with the desire to do the Lord's work.. and I guess at the end of the day that is where I have to find my peace.. knowing that through heartbreak and sad feelings.. I am trying to do what I believe is right. I know I am rambling.. I have become a rambler in my old age.. but it does feel better to say these things. God has blessed me to have them, that is something I know for sure.
They are two wonderful little people.
I have a really great class this year. The Lord really blessed me with them. They are sweet and I often think about how much potential they have. I always appreciate your prayers for them.
One month. That is the projected time left that the babies will be with us. Of course, that could change. These estimates are always based on circumstances, and as we all know those can change. It pretty much breaks my heart. I am not sure you can understand how absolutely attached to babies you can become in three months.. but it is unbelievable. I guess when you wake up in the middle of the night with them, and take care of them when they are sick.. and watch them as they learn new words.. and how to pray.. When you take them to their first ballgame.. or their first trip to the beach.. when you wipe tears.. and hold hands.. change diapers.. celebrate birthdays.. when you are here day in and day out.. I guess how could you help but feel like they are yours. And so the thought of them leaving breaks my heart, I told Tim I think I would feel better if I could just go somewhere and cry really hard.. cry until I had just let it all out. Then maybe I would be okay. Then maybe I could have some peace. We decided to foster with the hopes of making a difference.. with the desire to do the Lord's work.. and I guess at the end of the day that is where I have to find my peace.. knowing that through heartbreak and sad feelings.. I am trying to do what I believe is right. I know I am rambling.. I have become a rambler in my old age.. but it does feel better to say these things. God has blessed me to have them, that is something I know for sure.
They are two wonderful little people.
