I haven't written in a long time. School started, and things got crazy. Mornings start before six.. and we usually finish putting babies to bed around 8. So.. at the end of the day I am so tired.. makes it harder to write.. although if you know me you know that I always have plenty to say.
I have a really great class this year. The Lord really blessed me with them. They are sweet and I often think about how much potential they have. I always appreciate your prayers for them.
One month. That is the projected time left that the babies will be with us. Of course, that could change. These estimates are always based on circumstances, and as we all know those can change. It pretty much breaks my heart. I am not sure you can understand how absolutely attached to babies you can become in three months.. but it is unbelievable. I guess when you wake up in the middle of the night with them, and take care of them when they are sick.. and watch them as they learn new words.. and how to pray.. When you take them to their first ballgame.. or their first trip to the beach.. when you wipe tears.. and hold hands.. change diapers.. celebrate birthdays.. when you are here day in and day out.. I guess how could you help but feel like they are yours. And so the thought of them leaving breaks my heart, I told Tim I think I would feel better if I could just go somewhere and cry really hard.. cry until I had just let it all out. Then maybe I would be okay. Then maybe I could have some peace. We decided to foster with the hopes of making a difference.. with the desire to do the Lord's work.. and I guess at the end of the day that is where I have to find my peace.. knowing that through heartbreak and sad feelings.. I am trying to do what I believe is right. I know I am rambling.. I have become a rambler in my old age.. but it does feel better to say these things. God has blessed me to have them, that is something I know for sure.
They are two wonderful little people.
1 little notes:
You know, Lindsey, you and Tim have made a huge sacrifice for those precious little ones. I am not talking about financially or even the physical. You have opened your hearts to them. You have freely shared the best part of you with them and that is something they will never forget. You have given them a taste of so many things they may never have experienced were it not for your love and care of them.
It has been said that when you have children you experience what it is like to have your heart walking around outside your body. When they hurt, you hurt. When they laugh, you laugh. That bond is very strong and I believe you and Tim have bonded that closely with them.
Sadly, that all comes with a price. The good-bye part. Every parent has to face that day when children leave home...you are facing it really early. When they go, they take a little piece of your heart with them. But the good news is, they leave a little part of their hearts with you.
I am certain that you have made am impact on their lives that will be irreversible and they will always love you. No matter where life takes them, they will carry your love and support with them. I am sure they will always know where to find their "home, away from home".
I have no doubt that in their eyes, you and Tim will forevermore hold "hero status", because you loved them and took care of them when their parents could not.
You are heroes to me, too. ♥ you both
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