A facebook group was recently started to begin to organize my ten year high school reunion. And it’s a great thought, but it made me feel old. Old, and like where did ten years go?! I remember so clearly the night I graduated. I remember feeling kind of standoffish from the classmates that I knew and loved so dearly.. because I was scared and sad to be leaving them. I remember hugging Melissa while she cried so hard.. and promising that graduation did change anything.. we would be friends for our lifetime. A promise that I am so thankful we have kept. I remember my daddy crying. And my family going to my grandmoms after for cake and snacks. And I remember leaving the next morning for a summer job that would take me away, and not realizing that I would never again really “live” with mama and daddy outside of school breaks.
It is wild to think that I had no idea how wonderful my life would end up. I didn’t know that God had in store for me a Godly man who would provide for me and love me better than I could have ever imagined. I had no idea that God would see fit to make me sweet Andrew’s mother, or that He had planned for me a baby girl who looks just like her daddy. Ten years ago, I had no idea that I had not even touched the very best things that would ever happen to me. And that makes me really excited about the future. I don’t know now what God has in store for me in the next ten years. I pray that He will continue to bless my life as he has. It has certainly not been without rough spots, but it is a wonderful life.
I don't know if I will be able to attend the reunion, but I would love to see what really good things have happened to the people who were such a big part of my life for so long.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Dealing With a Bad Day.. and making changes.
Do you have any advice? Is there a sure fire way to recover from a bad day? If there is, share it.
I wouldn't say that I have many bad days. Probably not even my fair share. But when I do as I have lately. How do you get over it?
Lately, I have had some less than lovely days. Days of sickness. Days of disappointment. Days of being overwhelmed. And I have found that while I am not an awesome "bounce backer", I am a pretty good "get thruer". I don't get over hurt feelings super fast, I can't pretend we are fine if we are not, and sometimes there are not enough of me to get it all done.. but I get by.
I don't get by gracefully always. And I certainly don't get by alone. But none the less, I get by. Before I go to bed at night, tasks are complete, people are taken care of, and the world goes on. Before I leave work each day, my room is straight and my mind is prepared for the next day. None of that happens without alot of help from alot of people, but it happens.
But still.. is it enough to feel like you just "get thru" a day? I don't think so. Our days are limited and while they cannot all be filled with enjoyment and peace, I think that most of them should. I realized towards the end of this school year a great need for more "good days". And that meant some changes. I am not good at change, never have been. Change is hard, but I am finding as I get older, change is necessary.
After alot of prayer, and seeking advice from others, Tim and I decided that I would not return to my school next year. It was a hard decision for me for alot of reasons. Financially, it is a leap of faith. Emotionally, it is the only school where I have ever worked. I have put in alot of love, time, blood, sweat, and tears there. I have learned a hundred lessons there, a few of them the hard way. How do you walk away from six years of hard work? It isn't easy. But I know that my primary job on this earth is to be a good mom. I know that you can be a good mom and work 40 hours a week (or more!) my mom proved that. But lately, due to alot of details that are better not blogged about, I wasn't able to be the wife and mother I needed to be and carry the burden that I was at work.
So in three weeks.. I am a stay at home mom. Now I will say, if a dream job comes available, I will take it, but unless that happens.. I will be home with my babies. I have had a job since I was 14! so.. that's almost 15 years. And while I know stay at home moms are offended when what they do is not referred to as a "job", it won't be the job that I am used to. I am used to clocking in and out. I am used to having a boss, and deadlines. It's going to be a big change. One that I would certainly appreciate you praying about!
I wouldn't say that I have many bad days. Probably not even my fair share. But when I do as I have lately. How do you get over it?
Lately, I have had some less than lovely days. Days of sickness. Days of disappointment. Days of being overwhelmed. And I have found that while I am not an awesome "bounce backer", I am a pretty good "get thruer". I don't get over hurt feelings super fast, I can't pretend we are fine if we are not, and sometimes there are not enough of me to get it all done.. but I get by.
I don't get by gracefully always. And I certainly don't get by alone. But none the less, I get by. Before I go to bed at night, tasks are complete, people are taken care of, and the world goes on. Before I leave work each day, my room is straight and my mind is prepared for the next day. None of that happens without alot of help from alot of people, but it happens.
But still.. is it enough to feel like you just "get thru" a day? I don't think so. Our days are limited and while they cannot all be filled with enjoyment and peace, I think that most of them should. I realized towards the end of this school year a great need for more "good days". And that meant some changes. I am not good at change, never have been. Change is hard, but I am finding as I get older, change is necessary.
After alot of prayer, and seeking advice from others, Tim and I decided that I would not return to my school next year. It was a hard decision for me for alot of reasons. Financially, it is a leap of faith. Emotionally, it is the only school where I have ever worked. I have put in alot of love, time, blood, sweat, and tears there. I have learned a hundred lessons there, a few of them the hard way. How do you walk away from six years of hard work? It isn't easy. But I know that my primary job on this earth is to be a good mom. I know that you can be a good mom and work 40 hours a week (or more!) my mom proved that. But lately, due to alot of details that are better not blogged about, I wasn't able to be the wife and mother I needed to be and carry the burden that I was at work.
So in three weeks.. I am a stay at home mom. Now I will say, if a dream job comes available, I will take it, but unless that happens.. I will be home with my babies. I have had a job since I was 14! so.. that's almost 15 years. And while I know stay at home moms are offended when what they do is not referred to as a "job", it won't be the job that I am used to. I am used to clocking in and out. I am used to having a boss, and deadlines. It's going to be a big change. One that I would certainly appreciate you praying about!
Be the change you want to see in the world....
I have always tried to please everyone. Have I been successful? No. But, I have tried. Approval from others has always been important to me, too important. I agree to things that I dread, and I obligate myself to activities that overextend me. Why? Because I want to make you happy.
Lately, I have really failed at making the world happy. And you know what? It has been a really good thing. I have learned so much.
First I learned, some people will never be happy. There are some people that you will work to make happy day in and day out, and it will never happen. You will do everything you know to encourage or inspire them, and there will be nothing. You will always come up a little short, their situation will always be in their eyes desperate, and you won’t really be able to make a difference for them.
I also learned that there are some people who will be happy with you and for you as long as they are getting their way. I know I often fall into this category sometimes. And I need to work on it. It’s easy to be happy when you are getting what you want. The real test is being happy for others when you wish the situation was different, or finding happiness in others happiness even when you are not being benefitted by the circumstances. These are the people that I am learning to deal with. And learning to accept myself, that sometimes, even when others aren’t happy, you have to do what you believe to be best.
And then there are the people who will always encourage you. People that you seem to please without a lot of effort. People that you know are on your side. People that instead of always working to feel like you are pleasing, you just have general love and acceptance from. I need to work to be this for more people.
It is tiring always feeling like you are working to make others happy. It is hard to feel like you are trying to the lone encourager in a sea of discouragement. I know. I’ve been there. So why don’t we all smile at each other more? Let’s write each other more notes to build one another up. Let’s laugh more, and berate less. Instead of waiting to feel encouraged BY someone, go out and encourage someone. And realize, like I have.. every decision won’t be a popular one. Everything you do won’t be appreciated or valued, but a lot of it will. A lot of your efforts will bear fruit. And a lot of times, in really surprising places.
Lately, I have really failed at making the world happy. And you know what? It has been a really good thing. I have learned so much.
First I learned, some people will never be happy. There are some people that you will work to make happy day in and day out, and it will never happen. You will do everything you know to encourage or inspire them, and there will be nothing. You will always come up a little short, their situation will always be in their eyes desperate, and you won’t really be able to make a difference for them.
I also learned that there are some people who will be happy with you and for you as long as they are getting their way. I know I often fall into this category sometimes. And I need to work on it. It’s easy to be happy when you are getting what you want. The real test is being happy for others when you wish the situation was different, or finding happiness in others happiness even when you are not being benefitted by the circumstances. These are the people that I am learning to deal with. And learning to accept myself, that sometimes, even when others aren’t happy, you have to do what you believe to be best.
And then there are the people who will always encourage you. People that you seem to please without a lot of effort. People that you know are on your side. People that instead of always working to feel like you are pleasing, you just have general love and acceptance from. I need to work to be this for more people.
It is tiring always feeling like you are working to make others happy. It is hard to feel like you are trying to the lone encourager in a sea of discouragement. I know. I’ve been there. So why don’t we all smile at each other more? Let’s write each other more notes to build one another up. Let’s laugh more, and berate less. Instead of waiting to feel encouraged BY someone, go out and encourage someone. And realize, like I have.. every decision won’t be a popular one. Everything you do won’t be appreciated or valued, but a lot of it will. A lot of your efforts will bear fruit. And a lot of times, in really surprising places.
