Andrew.. again :)

We have had Andrew since he was two days old. He turned 11 weeks today :)
It is amazing to watch him grow. Maybe more amazing to me.. because I did not
have nine weeks to read about everything that would happen once he arrived..
I went back to work when he was three weeks old.. so Tim and I pretty much did not sleep for about a month. It was so hard and when I look back I wonder how we did it..
I am a big believer in auto pilot..and I am pretty sure that's what we were on. We are blessed that my Aunt Tina keeps Andrew.. and she had him on such a good schedule by about 8 weeks old! He has slept right through the night for about 3 weeks now. So blessed. He smiles at us all the time, and I am totally in love. I think about him leaving pretty regularly. I am praying daily that God will let the best thing for his life to work out, and I would love for that to be being adopted by Tim and I. But for now.. he is not available for adoption. Pray for Andrew's future. Please.
Aunt Tina and her children are sacrificing time, effort, and love to keep Andrew everyday for around nine hours. God has blessed my life with the greatest support, I am thankful and aware daily of my blessings. My mom a keeps Andrew overnight for me, and that is such a help. Getting to sleep and truly rest without going to check on him 100 times a night!! My dad is always helping us.. in 100 different ways..and Grandmama keeps him every other Friday and gave him his very first gift :)

Sometimes people look at us funny, sometimes we see them talking about us, I guess they wonder why we have Andrew.. and how he belongs to us. People have hurt my feelings, and made me want to move tables while out to eat.. but so many people have encouraged us. Walked up to us out of nowhere to understand our story and share support. The good always out weighs the bad in the end. I am blessed to know sweet Andrew, God's plan is always so much greater than mine. Sometimes realizing that is a kick in the pants, but it is always true.

Loss.

I am heartbroken. Heartbroken. Mr. Ralph died today. It is overwhelming for me, as he has been a long time family friend.. but mostly because I just keep thinking about his wife and daughter.

My daddy is my hero. He is the most selfless, kind, funny man that I have ever known. I am better because I am part of him, and because he is a part of my daily life. To think about people who don't have that.. who lose that.. it hurts me so much.

When we lose people, we often cling. We cling to the last time we saw them, we cling to what we last said, we cling to our fondest memory. Bottomline is.. we cling. We don't want them to be gone, we want to remember. I will remember Mr. Ralph as a jolly, giving man with a heart like no other. I will remember him as blessed with a wife and daughter who admired him, and thousands of people whose life he touched. I will cling to his friendship with my daddy, his Relay for Life "MCing", for his kind words about our foster parenting, and for his love for God.

Pray for his sweet family and friends, that they will be blessed with healing.