Tim.

Have you ever just really thought about someone else.. just really let who they are sink in.. and been totally amazed. Alot of times in the day to day, I see Tim. I see him as who I need to take out the trash, I see him as who I need to coordinate schedules with, I see him as my partner in paying bills and getting by. But sometimes it just hits me who he really is..

He is a selfless, hard working, focused, honest, good man. He works hard every day for our family.

Yes, he goes to a 7-4 job that is often times 7-7 or called in the middle of the night.. but that isnt even where his work begins. He works with the youth at our church. He is honestly committed to the belief that they have the brightest futures if they invest totally in God. He spends much time preparing lessons and planning events. But I would say.. that is not even where his work begins. I see his hard work in helping two little girls get dressed every morning. I see his hard work in rocking a baby to sleep at night. I see his hard work in parenting a teenager to the best of his ability. I see his hard work in making time to make me regularly feel valued. He takes out trash, and washes clothes, and feeds dogs, and is often times everything to everyone. And very seldom do I see people really stop to see how they can lighten his load.. and I dont think he even notices.

He is selfless. Alot of people have told me they would be foster parents if their partners would agree. And I totally get that. Men think differently than we do. Men view things differently than we do. And alot of times their hestitation is needed. And if they have reservations about taking on the role, that should be taken seriously. It has to be something both people are totally sold out to. I totally believe that. With all that said, Tim didn't hesitate. He didn't look for ways out. He saw a need. He wanted to be a cure to the problem. Tim and I decided early on we didn't want to be people who dwelled on problems, we wanted to fix them. And I love that early in our marriage before we were set in our ways, we decided to make a difference. And sometimes lost under the stacks of clothes and piles of homework I wonder about what life with just us would be like. And selfishly I guess sometimes I dream of every night as a date night and every morning as one where we could sleep late.. but then it hits me.. I would not want to be doing anything other than what we are doing right now. And there is no one I could hope to be more of a partner than Tim.

He isn't perfect. Sometimes hes a bed hog. Sometimes I feel like the ballgame will never end! Sometimes I think he is being a little poutish. Sometimes I want him to freak out over something that he totally remains calm about. Sometimes we fuss. Sometimes we have different parenting styles. But he is honestly, the best person I know. He has the most sincere desire to do good, and to be good. And he inspires that in me.

So today on Tim's birthday.. I see him. I see him for the amazing man that he is. And I am thankful.

Just Trust.

I have a confession. I let worry rule my life. I let it keep me from sleeping sometimes. I let it keep me from enjoying precious moments at times. I let it keep me from trusting God the way I am supposed to. People say worry does no good. They are absolutely right. I cannot tell you one problem I have had solved by my worrying. Now, I can tell you about time wasted, I can tell you about energy not spent in a productive way. But for some reason.. worry is hard to lose. I talk to myself constantly about trusting. Tim reminds me of scriptures. And still I let it control me. Pray that I can let go and let God!! I mean how beautiful would it be to live with total trust in God and total peace knowing He is in control. What a relief it would be to realize that I do not have to worry about things, try to control everything, feel totally responsible for everything, because there is someone who loves me more than any earthly person who is working things out for me.

I have so much to work on. I want to start with worry. I want to start with ridding my life of it. I want to start by finding that peace that is promised through trust. I would appreciate your prayers that I do overcome my worry problem. And prayers that God will just work out all of my concerns, and prayers that I will let go.. and let God.

Tim and I are having lots of company this weekend! We are going to keep two little girls for another foster mom. Respite it is officially called. They are our little girls age so it should be like one big slumber party! Chris also called Tim earlier in the week and asked if he could come for the weekend. Of course, we said yes! Altogether that is seven children (unless mom and dad take Andrew like they love to do! ). I am sure it will be a lot of fun.. and fly by!

Love to all.

Tyrese. Let me tell you about him. My first day as a real life teacher with a classroom of my own was january 2008. That was also tyrese's first day at our school. He was put on my role, and I loved him instantly. He was six years old and had already had a difficult life. He touched my heart and I wanted to cure his world. I couldn't totally. But I could make his week days from 7am until 3pm pleasant. And safe. So I tried my best. The next school year after having to move again this time in with an elderly grandmother figure I decided we needed to do more. We started getting him and his younger brother on saturdays and taking them to restaurants and movies. They were some of the first people to see our new house even before we bought it. Tim taught tyrese to do flips off the diving board. Santa visits them at our house.. for 3 yrs now. They are my school children. Their teachers call me with praise or need for correction. We truly love them. And I ask you to pray for them. Pray that they grow up to know Jesus. Pray that they choose right over wrong and that they grow up to be respectful men. Pray for tyrese and david :)

Several people have told me lately they are reading my blog. I am thankful. I don't know if I have ever point blank asked you to consider being foster parents, but please do. There is a need that I cannot even explain. It won't be easy. You will have very little privacy. You will love children who will leave. You will love children who are hard to love. You will be talked about and occasionally you will be really discouraged. Your heart will be broken. But I think pretty quickly you will discover its not about you at all. Your fear of being left brokenhearted will be outweighed by your desire to change a life. Your love for difficult children will flow easily. You won't care what people say, and you will soak up every kind word that comes your way. I struggle with being selfish, and I am continually thankful for the opportunity to live a more selfless life through fostering. I want to stress again the need for you. The real need. If I can answer any questions or help you in anyway.. email me at lcroley@yahoo.com or find me on facebook! Love to all :) and as always your prayers for our babies are coveted.