Finally, we trusted.

“For this child I prayed, and God granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore, I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.” I Sam 1:27-28

We did pray. And we begged. And we cried. And then finally, we trusted.

I am thankful for the wait I endured to be blessed with my sweet baby.

I am thankful because it gave me time to take care of Andrew. If I had found out about a baby this time last year, or May, or June, or July.. I might not have taken Andrew. I would have thought it was too much. But instead I was totally available to take care of Andrew. And I loved it. I never minded 2am too much, I loved how small he was and how he felt against me. I pray that he will get to be our first child for our lifetime.

I am thankful because it gave me the opportunity to be unselfishly happy for others. I had close friends find out about their own pregnancies while I waited. And you know what? I wasn’t jealous or mean, I was genuinely happy for them. I was excited through their different stages. Sometimes it did make me long for my own experiences, but I was always happy for them. I am glad that I didn’t feel petty jealousy, and I know that is a work the Lord has done on my heart.

I am thankful most of all.. because it gave me an opportunity to really trust God. I guess it was around September I was just totally sad about our lack of success as far as a baby. And Tim wrote me the most beautiful words. Maybe one day he will let me share them with you. But I have never felt so comforted or at peace. God’s time. That is what it all comes down to. God’s time. And I am so thankful for His time. I am so thankful for His ability to know everything, and with that knowledge take perfect care of me. Praise the Lord.

We are almost 11 weeks along now. We saw the baby yesterday. And we heard that strong heart beat. I cried. It was so perfect. I cannot tell you how precious it was. And maybe the wait made it even more special.

God’s perfect time. I am amazed by it, and so thankful for it. Pray for us.

Let Love Lead.

I heard that on the most random show ever.. "let love lead.." but it hit me as so profound. Aren't we better off in almost every situation when we let love lead?

I am better to my husband and children when my actions and reactions are based on my love for them. When I can take time to reflect on my true feelings, and not my temporary ones (anger, disappointment, etc).. I can then handle situations with a greater grace based on a greater love.

I am kinder to others when I let love lead. I am not as tempted to judge, but rather to understand. I am not as tempted to tear down, but rather encourage. I tell Tim all the time what a happier world it would be if we decided in our homes, and our churches, and our jobs to just take time to consider one another's position and rather than feel hurt or negative feelings based on others behaviors.. we could just love them. Not always agree with them. Not always support their decisions. But love them. I guess it goes back to the idea of walking a mile in another person's shoes.

I want my life to demonstrate letting love lead. I want to make a real effort to love other people. Not just people like me. Not just people I understand. Not just people who I am comfortable with. I want to let love lead with everyone. I want love to lead me out of my comfortable areas and into areas where my love is needed.

I hope you too will decide to let love lead :)