Reality Check.

Sometimes.. it is good to have a reality check.

The reality is I am not in control. God is.
The reality is I cannot do anything alone. I need God's support.
The reality is I do not know the way. I need God to guide me.


Yesterday was kind of a reality check kind of day, all day long. The hardest thing I have found as far as being a foster parent is... loving these babies the way they need and deserve to be loved.. and somehow trying to protect my heart for when they go. Some days I get lost in the idea of this being "my" little family. When in reality, my greatest hope is for my babies to get to go home. Not because I don't love them, and not because I don't wish they could stay forever.. but because I know home is the best place for them. The boy is old enough especially to be aware of the situation.. and I know at the end of the day no matter how hard we love him.. no matter how good we are to him.. it is human nature to want to be with the people you spent the first years of your life with.. your parents. And I guess yesterday, everything just kind of hit me hard. This is all a learning experience. Just prayers :)

Today, the babies and I went to Doug Locklear's (or as I call him.. Lauren's husband :) ) deployment ceremony. He is going to Iraq, and I just have this great sense of thankfulness for Doug and for the sacrifice he is making going to Iraq.. but too, for Lauren. I can't imagine how much she will miss him the next few months. I just pray for their strength and their safety. And God's greatest blessings for them. I used to think the saying was a little cheesy.. but it hit home with me today.. Freedom truly is not free.

Tim will be home soon. I should go!