...a full house is a happy house :)

I am proud to announce the arrival of two precious little girls into our home :) J is a sweet 6 year old. She sings non stop and I am excited to say knows all of her letters and sounds.. and can read several words. She is one of the most pleasant people I have ever been around. M is 2. She smiles constantly. When I wake her up in the mornings she hugs and kisses me like seeing me is an event. Thinking about her makes me smile. She also is capable of a fit, and last night she and Andrew decided to have one at the same time. It was slightly overwhelming, but I am sure it will not be the last time that duo gives me a run for my money :) My heart is just really full. I know it's alot of responsibility, but I don't mind it. I like to think the reward always out weighs the work. I am also capable because of my great support system. Mama and daddy love all of the children so much, and Aunt Tina is a constant. Grandparents love them too :) Trina and Mr. Tim are always so welcoming as well! I am thankful daily for the people who love me, Tim, and our babies (and teenagers!!).

School is fantastic and my children are brilliant! I am just really happy.

You know Dasher and Dancer....

I've become a bad blogger. Maybe due to being busy, or maybe due to a lack of things to write about.. I have become slow in my posting. For myself, because I am using this as a way to keep up with my own life, I am going to try to do better.

Christmas is quickly approaching and I love this time of year. I feel a need for Christmas spirit this year, more so than I remember before. I am not sure why, but I am humming carols and shopping much earlier than usual. I am looking forward to doing even more "Christmasy" things as the time approaches.

The Croley House is beautifully chaotic :) Andrew is growing too fast! He can sit up almost on his own, and we know crawling is around the corner! Tiffany is enjoying being a junior. She did well on the ACT, and she is majorly in college mode. It is such an exciting time, and I am glad to be a part! Austin is definitely impressing us with his desire to stay on track, and I am passionately praying that he will continue to make positive strides. Tim is doing well. We have almost been married three years and we have a little anniversary tripped planned, I cannot wait.

My baby brother graduates from college next Friday. How exciting! I am not at all surprised, I don't remember college ever being a choice for us, but after so much work, it is such a rewarding time. Prayers he finds a job where he can be successful and make an impact. I pray that God will put him somewhere that he can be happy.

All for now :)

Angry Words.

I was raised in a house where opinions were not kept inside. I was raised in a house where disagreements did not mean hate. I was raised in a house where intense discussions were not avoided, but learned from.
But as an adult, I have got to really let it sink in that just because I THINK I am right about something, does not mean that it has to be said. And just because I feel strongly about something does not give me permission to react.
On the other hand, I do not think it is healthy to just bottle things up. I do not think it is healthy to be treated poorly in an effort to keep peace, I guess the bottomline is that no matter what.. I have to try to act in every situation like I think Jesus would. I know that means I can get mad sometimes, because he turned tables. But I also know that when something that will not benefit anyone is on my heart, that is where it needs to stay on my heart.

I have also really allowed myself to become super vulnerable as far as people's remarks about our foster parenting. It just really bothers me when people say "I could just never do it..." I know truthfully that I hear that from someone almost daily. And what I hear when people say that is.. "You cold hearted heifer, I am so much more loving than you because you can see children come and go and not be effected.. but me.. it would bother me." If you can't do it, don't. I don't do it for fun, it is a heartbreaking way to live to be honest. To wait daily to see if these children that you have invested your whole heart in are going to have to leave you.. but.. its important, its needed, and what if everyone just didnt do it because they might get their feelings hurt in the end? I choose to open my house to children without there own. In doing that, I will love them dearly, and I will lose them almost always in the end. But it's not about me. And I think if I could apply that to every aspect of life, if we all could, if we could all just see that it isnt about us.. what a happier, more loving place we would live.

I have let angry words exist lately, I will not anymore. If you heard them, I am sorry. But please watch me change. And pray for me to continually change, all I want to do is be in heaven forever with the people I love :)

Andrew.. again :)

We have had Andrew since he was two days old. He turned 11 weeks today :)
It is amazing to watch him grow. Maybe more amazing to me.. because I did not
have nine weeks to read about everything that would happen once he arrived..
I went back to work when he was three weeks old.. so Tim and I pretty much did not sleep for about a month. It was so hard and when I look back I wonder how we did it..
I am a big believer in auto pilot..and I am pretty sure that's what we were on. We are blessed that my Aunt Tina keeps Andrew.. and she had him on such a good schedule by about 8 weeks old! He has slept right through the night for about 3 weeks now. So blessed. He smiles at us all the time, and I am totally in love. I think about him leaving pretty regularly. I am praying daily that God will let the best thing for his life to work out, and I would love for that to be being adopted by Tim and I. But for now.. he is not available for adoption. Pray for Andrew's future. Please.
Aunt Tina and her children are sacrificing time, effort, and love to keep Andrew everyday for around nine hours. God has blessed my life with the greatest support, I am thankful and aware daily of my blessings. My mom a keeps Andrew overnight for me, and that is such a help. Getting to sleep and truly rest without going to check on him 100 times a night!! My dad is always helping us.. in 100 different ways..and Grandmama keeps him every other Friday and gave him his very first gift :)

Sometimes people look at us funny, sometimes we see them talking about us, I guess they wonder why we have Andrew.. and how he belongs to us. People have hurt my feelings, and made me want to move tables while out to eat.. but so many people have encouraged us. Walked up to us out of nowhere to understand our story and share support. The good always out weighs the bad in the end. I am blessed to know sweet Andrew, God's plan is always so much greater than mine. Sometimes realizing that is a kick in the pants, but it is always true.

Loss.

I am heartbroken. Heartbroken. Mr. Ralph died today. It is overwhelming for me, as he has been a long time family friend.. but mostly because I just keep thinking about his wife and daughter.

My daddy is my hero. He is the most selfless, kind, funny man that I have ever known. I am better because I am part of him, and because he is a part of my daily life. To think about people who don't have that.. who lose that.. it hurts me so much.

When we lose people, we often cling. We cling to the last time we saw them, we cling to what we last said, we cling to our fondest memory. Bottomline is.. we cling. We don't want them to be gone, we want to remember. I will remember Mr. Ralph as a jolly, giving man with a heart like no other. I will remember him as blessed with a wife and daughter who admired him, and thousands of people whose life he touched. I will cling to his friendship with my daddy, his Relay for Life "MCing", for his kind words about our foster parenting, and for his love for God.

Pray for his sweet family and friends, that they will be blessed with healing.

"Welcome to the real world, she said to me, condesendingly."

I still think a crash course in adulthood is needed. I mean we take a class in everything in the world, except how to handle real life situations. What a waste. But I guess everyone's version of adulthood is different.. that's why we just have to figure it out for ourselves.

I have 18 sweet children this year, and I am really enjoying them. They are bright, and I see us accomplishing so much this year. I do feel very blessed to love my job, I think it is a rare and wonderful blessing. I go home tired, and sometimes overwhelmed, and I definitely earn my paycheck.. but at the end of the day.. I did something. I helped someone. Grandmom has already started coming and helping with my reading groups. What a relief! She has a way with the children, and they learn so much from her. She is so needed in my life and a day does not pass that I do not thank God for her.

Andrew is growing like a weed! He is six weeks old now, and finally starting to let us sleep a little bit :) Please pray it will only get better! Please pray for his future, as I ask you to do for all of our children. I am praying for more faith, and for the ability to trust God's plan no matter what happens. Hard place of comfort to find, but I am looking for it. Aunt Tina has been a huge blessing (and her babies!) keeping him while I work. I know he is safe and happy. And he will learn so much while he is there. It is a sacrifice for her I am sure, but it is not one that goes unappreciated. My family is my greatest earthly strength and encouragement. I am blessed beyond measure.

Tiffany is also doing great at school and at her job. I am so proud of her, and the progress I see her making right in front of me. I look forward to seeing her into adulthood. I know she will excel.

My new favorite quote.. I will let you know who said it as soon as I find out..

"My hope is that the love of power will be replaced by the power of love".. apply it how you see fit :)

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.. :)

School starts tomorrow. Amazing. Summer just flies by. I am happy for summer, and happy to return to work. I love my job.

Summer was interesting. We had a big summer get together with Tim's side of the family. We got a new diving board, which made the pool much more fun! We spent a week at the lake, and Andrew joined our world :)

Andrew spent his first day with my aunt today. She will be keeping him while I go to work. I cried a touch when I left him, because I had never been away from him but for about two hours (and that was only twice!!). Continue to pray for his future. I have such faith that God will take care of him. Jesus loved little children.

My county made AYP!! That is a big deal in the education realm, and it just reinforces the efforts that are going on by sooo many people. I am proud of our system, my school, and our students. I just pray it will continue in years to come, although I know if No Child Left Behind is not reformed, it will become impossible to meet the standards. I would love for the government to be a little realistic in their big plans :)

Please pray for me and my sweet family any chance you get :)