Too blessed to be stressed :)

Do you ever get carried away in thinking about all of the wrong choices you've made? Do you focus on the mistakes, and worry over things that you cannot change? I find myself doing that alot. Wishing I could go back, wishing I could undo, wishing I had known then.. what I know now. And sometimes I catch myself "making bad choices" (as I tell the children).. and to just be plain honest.. it makes me feel a little hopeless. Sunday "the preacher" as I often call him to his daughter.. preached about focusing on positives. And that is what I have to do. I cannot go back. I cannot undo. I cannot change things that have been done. All I can do now is do better. And that is what I need to focus on, doing better. And after some realizations that is what I plan to do.

I never wanted to leave home. I never wanted to be removed from my hometown. I always knew I would grow up and go to college, and then I always knew I would come back. It isn't because I am scared of the big bad world.. it's because I am happy at home. I am happy being close to my mom and grandmom (and dadddy and granddaddy of course!). I am happy attending the church I grew up in, I am happy having one stop light, and no walmart. But there are sacrifices to coming home, there is no starting over. You are now who you always were to most everyone. That is not always bad, but it is a fact. There is not the opportunity to go out there and meet a ton of new people, and sometimes I guess it can lack adventure. Still, I love home. I did find it hard upon returning the lack of friends my age. My youth group for the most part grew up and moved away. High school friends did the same.. so I guess in some sense of the word.. at times.. I am a little lonely.

Last night though, I realized it is not about quantity. It is about quality. I had a wonderful dinner with my two best friends, Melissa and Lauren.

Melissa has been my best friend since I guess I was fifteen. She is loud, and blount, and you pretty much know where you stand with her at all times. She is honest, and sensitive, and one of the most consistent people in my life. We don't talk every day, because we don't have to. But we do have dinner every now and then.. and texting keeps us connected. She makes me laugh, and in life.. that is pretty priceless. I would be there for her no matter what, and how wonderful is it to know she is always there for me.

Lauren is newer. We started to be friends at the beginning of the summer. She was pretty much automatically one of my biggest supporters as far as being a foster parent, and I guess both"having kids" is where our friendship started. But now.. it's definitely much more. I call her with happy news and sad news. And she is always very understanding. And I totally trust her.. although when revealing a secret I do still feel the need to put the disclaimer: "Don't tell the preacher..." (her dad). :) We are kind of unlikely friends.. but I am glad we are. Like Melissa she is freaking hillarious, and she makes my life happier.

So I have decided that I have an amazing family, a job I love, a great church family, and at least two of the best friends in the world. Pretty blessed, huh? :)