I do alot wrong. I say the wrong things. Sometimes I think the wrong things. Sometimes I act the wrong ways. I say all that, because now.. I would like to tell you about something I did right.
I have always known there was more to life than growing up, getting a job, going to church, and helping out here and there. To be acceptable to God, I have always felt like there had to be real sacrifice involved. I've always known you had to be out of your comfort zone. You had to be willing not to just give up your dollars, but your heart. Along with the knowledge of a need for self sacrifice, God gave me a love of children. and not just a love of children, but a love of children in need. Children who do not live behind white picket fences, children who are not raised by soccer moms, children who do not always have the luxury of running water and electricity. That is where God put my heart.
Most of you know I work in a low income school. I live in a low income town. There are so many opportunities to help here that very seldom does my mind drift to any other "mission field". I buy uniforms for my school children, and shoes. I could not tell you how many coats I have bought from Walmart. I talk Tim into paying for Pizza Parties. Grandmama comes to help me teach them to read, mama helps find sponsors, and judge art contests. Daddy volunteers. I try to pull my world into theirs.. maybe so we can all understand we are not so different. I go to their houses, and meet their parents. I try to be a part of their lives. And I know that all of those things do so much more for me, than they could ever do for them.
But Tim and I after alot of prayer decided that it didn't have to stop there. We could still do more. We are young, we are employed, we are stable. We felt like those were good characteristics for foster and potential adoptive parents. We thought that we could take children who needed love, stability, a home and for as long as they needed us.. we could be their safe place. We started foster parent classes in March, we finished them on June 9th. On June 12th, for the first time.. we were foster parents.
Grace was only 18 months old, and that terrified Tim. He told me he had no idea what to do with a baby. But I wish you could have seen him love her. He could calm her at bed time, he could make her laugh with they played, she loved for him to sing the Alabama fight song to her. They had such a special relationship. And I know he will always love Miss Gracie Mae.
I too was a little scared. She couldn't tell me what hurt, she couldn't tell me what she needed.. it was a learning process. And I loved every minute of it. I loved her wanting me to hold her, I loved rocking her before bed, I loved chasing her (literally sometimes) around church. I loved Grace with a love that I had never known before. I didn't mind her 2am crying, I loved teaching her new things. Grace will be in my heart for the rest of my life. I pray that we are allowed to continue a relationship with her. Truly it's hard to imagine life without her.
Jacob was three when he came.. we quickly celebrated his fourth birthday party. From the beginning he was very stubborn (which I happen to think can be a wonderful life skill). We spent tons of time riding bikes, watching football, swimming, going to Jay and Sha Sha's (g and j's favorite thing to do!) Jacob loves school and learning. Tim and I laughed all the time with Jacob, and I will always remember how dedicated he is to taking good care of Grace. Oh, and his prayers.. he prays the most beautiful prayers.
If you knew Grace and Jacob while they were with us, I count you lucky. They are two of the most precious people I have ever known. I thank you for being a part of their lives.
I ask everyone to pray for them every single chance you get. That they will be happy and well taken care of.. that when they grow up they will know Jesus. I ask you to pray that we will be allowed to continue a relationship with them. I ask you to pray for everyone who misses them to find peace.
No more sad entries. I guess I just needed closure. Love to you all.
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